Love Matrix

No relationship is as important as one promising lifelong commitment. Lovers seek new ways to preserve and enrich their relationships.

We can use this map to:

  • Get new ideas for ways to love.

  • Get experiences and help that we can’t get by ourselves.

  • Get new perspectives about each other.

  • Create plans and records together.

Friends and relatives get and give support. Communities and workplaces rely on our having loving partnerships at home.

+ Phases

  1. Begin

  2. Explore

  3. Sustain

  4. Master

Goals

Click any + to see phases

    1. Body, physical attraction.

    2. Fun times.

    3. Practical needs especially protecting each other.

    4. Unity and completeness

    1. Test out trust, expect to be trusted, and want to trust each other.

    2. Substitute we for I often in expectations.

    3. Act responsibly with respect. Uphold commitments.

    4. Extend commitments beyond family jointly. 

    1. Say what we think we are supposed to say and focus on information concerning likes and dislikes.

    2. Develop rules of engagement such as don't bring up past arguments, don't call names, and fight fairly.

    3. Deal with the issue, not the person. Express feelings. Maintain connection.

    4. Respect uniqueness.  Continue to support the other person even when it is difficult. Discover creative ways to communicate.

    1. Keep personal financial or property resources separate.

    2. Help with special or occasional projects. Begin consolidating resources. 

    3. Work out mutually beneficial system (equal), which is voluntary, balanced, agreed-upon, often self-sufficient interdependence (what’s fair).

    4. May suspend self-sufficiency and fairness in order to serve a common, broad goal.

    1. Use the other for own needs.

    2. Transaction (give to get).

    3. Nurture partner's uniqueness.

    4. Celebrate acceptance.

    1. Unaware of each other's needs.

    2. Anticipate conventional needs and actions.

    3. Know own roles and contribute to other’s common activities.

    4. Contribute to each other.s meaning-of-life needs.

    1. Go places with friends.

    2. Respect each other's work demands.

    3. Support each other in community involvement and leadership.

    4. Have a novel and enduring positive impact together on the people around them.

    1. Respond to events and  each other's interests. Weigh importance of issues.

    2. Learn about other’s abilities and accomplishments, ideas.

    3. Take pride in what you are building together. Make time for discussing and sharing ideas. Balance values by shifting one's own to the center.

    4. Consider legacy. Look for community/social challenges together.

    1. Keep a few photos.

    2. Write letters or poems for special occasions.

    3. Keep important records of finances and health.

    4. Create common biographies.